Life of an adult seems like a small room in prison without doors or windows at times.
Million and one social norm, unwritten rules you have to obey without even having courage to question them and ask :"what is the purpose of it?". We just obey because we are taught we should.
I often do feel caged and that is for sure a reason behind 95% of anxiety attacks I ever struggled with.
Every time I feel I'm limited in expressing myself emotionally, spiritually or even sexually I feel so frustrated. And I'm not a conformist. I find it very difficult to settle. I want it my way or else the feeling of something missing is going to hunt me quite badly and I can't really deal with it.
Well, that's just me being a human being in it's own, raw from of an egocentric creature and my wild, stubborn nature makes it even worse.
But since I am married to someone I do love, I had to learn to suffocate egocentric nature in md and deeply consider the shape of shoes my partner is wearing-his own emotions, needs, dreams, pains and understand them and adopt as my own so we can function in Union we created.
So sometimes I wander where is the boundary between settling for compromises (which is absolutely needed, necessary and mutual ) and building a distance from your own self and a stranger to your own nature and being?
But I still believe, from the bottom of my heart, that the absolute purpose and ultimate goal of us existing in this world is to find freedom and set ourselves free.
To look for freedom we must have courage. We have to be super brave. To forget that we will be judged or criticized. We have to forget fear of others having negative opinion about us and focus on our unique nature that will clearly and loudly direct you towards your own purpose that you were created for.
We are all different and whatever excites you, keeps you passionate and happy , other's don't really need to understand or approve (as long as you dont harm nobody).
I moved from a very liberal society to more conservative one and it really affected me because I wasn't just free to be me since I though I would be judged. But thats unhealthy way to live life.It made me sick. Literally.
You have to discover yourself before you try discover the world around you. What excites you? What makes you feel like you? What is taking your breath away? What is making you feel good in your skin? What is making you feel powerful? What brings the passion out of you?
You have to feel free to express your heart and to let others know how to touch us : emotionally, spiritually and yes, physically. To be treated the way you wish to be treated. To be respected the way you wish to be respected. To be kissed and wanted just how you dreamed of.
Be free to love others in a way that describes you the best! Feel free to move, go forward, be free to live, don't just be alive!
Nothing to be ashamed of. It's your nature and you have to set it free, sooner or later-because our true nature is like a wild horse- it can't be tamed for too long!
You are a whole dimension by itself!