Sunday, 8 January 2017

You Are In A Relationship With Him,But Is He In A Relationship With You As Well?

You really like this guy. You might actually be in love with him. Every time your phone rings you hope it's him. When he calls,you cancel every single plan of yours and you rush to see him. You are always available for him-you want him to see that you are serious and willing to commit. You put your whole life on stand by. But at times,you are not sure if he feels the same about you. Even though you tell everyone that he is your man,deep inside of you there is a big question and you feel silly to ask ,but you really want to know: "What exactly are we?"
Your heart is simply not in peace and wonders are about to drive you crazy.When you call he does not always pick,you see him only when he wants to and his life seems like a mystery to you. You don't really know much about him. You guys are not as public as you wish. You normally meet for a couple of hours,maybe once a week (not as often as you would like) and the quality of the time you spend together is... Hmm...well it's normally about sex.. But yeah,you have fun together,you as well met couple of his friends,maybe hit a club several times and stuff..but..
There is just something that brings doubt into your heart and it does not want to let you be.

Every girl on planet earth was in this situation ,I can bet.

How to know if guy takes you seriously?

Let me keep it real with you fam...If you have to wander about the nature of your relationship with a man and his intentions towards you,well,most of the times that is a first sign that he is not really up to a serious relationship with you.

The truth of this life is : When man wants a woman,he will make it very clear to her.Crystal clear. There won't be space left for guessing and headaches.

Guys don't always tell you ,but they definitely always show you what type of a relationship they want with you.
-Is he always busy?
-Does he call ?
-How often does he text to let you know that you are in his mind?
-Does he check up on you and your well being?
-Can you talk to him openly about your life and your personal challenges?
-Are you free around him to be who you are or you are always afraid that you'll might do something that will turn him off?
-Can you call in the middle of the night or count on him if you need help?

Do your maths baby girl.

Maybe he needs more time?

A woman that does not want to consider a "move on" option always choose to wander if her guy maybe needs more time to understand how awesome she actually is.

My dear,there is no such thing as "I am not ready" when it comes to a woman a man truly wants. He would make himself ready if needed.
Most of the times guys give that kind of speech when he wants to set limits and clearly let you know that "relationship" between you two is something casual and commitment free in a polite way so he can still have the access to the goodies jar.

Most common stories you will get served are mostly about how he is not where where he wants to be financially,or due family issues he  simply "can't focus" on having a serious relationship at the moment or how he had a terrible past experience with his ex he did not recover from (Familiar? Lol) .

So basically (let's be fair),most of the times guys actually make it  all very clear to us .
But there is something in us women that makes us see what we want to see. All of the sudden,you feel like you are the one that needs to "save",cure and "fix" him up so you decide to turn into a"ride or die" for someone who does not even want to ride with you not even to the nearest corner.

So what normally happens next: after you tried so hard to appear and seem like everything you think he likes,so carefully tried to be his ideal kind of a woman and all he could possibly wish for and more,after months of forcing so hard on something supported by nothing but a fake hope and illusion you created all by yourself,you end up alone,hurt and angry,blaming the whole mankind for being "all the same".

My dear sister,
Your role in man's life is not to "catch" him.
You don't have to starve so desperately to impress a man hoping that he will (finally) acknowledge you as his woman.
You are not there to wander is someone out there is going to take you seriously or not.

You can stay home on weekends,call as you like,text like crazy,stop hanging out,stop talking to other guys and try your best to seem like his Miss Perfect,but more you try to become someone you are not in order to be liked,more you will loose your own "flavor" and that your own very special personal energy and charm.

No,it's not because you are not pretty enough,curvy enough,cool enough or smart enough.

You have to understand that not everyone is meant to recognize your worth . Not every eyes will see that irresistible beauty in you.The same way an illiterate would sell a diamond for a price of a cheap shiny stone simply because he does not see the difference between them and does not know the real worth of the diamond.

Not everyone is meant for you.

The man that will recognize your shine,appreciate your worth and love you for who you are will make you understand how effortlessly things suppose to be like.
You truly have nothing to prove and once you understand that you will gain your powers back and become way more relaxed which will help the true you come out.

And that is what makes a woman irresistible-her true,raw nature and her ability to embrace it without a fear that someone will reject her or stop her shine.

You don't have to look or desperately search for the right one.
You have to take care of your self and work on becoming the best possible version of yourself.
Leave the rest to him.
A real man will,no doubt,find his Queen,
No matter where she is.

And he would never give you time to doubt or wander.
You will know and feel that you are HIS WOMAN.

34 comments:

  1. How God gave this much wisdom to such a young woman! You just hit the spot!

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  2. Mrs Ogbonna well done

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  3. How in earth...... Sonia its like you can read my mind. This is what I needed to read so badly this night. God bless

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  4. Sonia your piece is so educating it spoke to me...thanks I appreciate

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  5. I enjoyed every bit of it ma'am

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  6. I am a guy and honestly I am very surprised that one lady is this familiar with a psychology of a man. Everything you said is on point. Keep it up! Your husband must be one lucky man to have a woman this wise. All the best

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  7. Wow....brava....I truly love it

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  8. God bless you baby girl

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  9. Wat do u knw abt life? U cnt even cook u think its all dat talk talk dat will keep ur marriage. Soon he will send ur fake ass bck to ur stupid country n marry his naija bride dat will not disgrace him wit shamelessness n nakedness. No nigerian family wud want their son to marry a bitch like u mchwww u go learn ur lesson

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    1. Why too much hate my dear at least she's married who told you people who wear nakedness they can't get married? Marriage is all about understanding each other and accepting each other in every way ...do you even know where they met or how they started abeg pack one side there many naija girls who are married and still doing worst than her so it's your cup of tea hater at the end whether you like it or not who told you she has to be chief cooker to be married that's why many of you are still at home no man what's to marry uneducated bitch like you still living in 80s we are in a modern world so shut that dirty mouth of yours whether you a man or woman go to hell mchwwwwwww times 10000000

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    2. Please tell this fool. Sonia is always so nice and kind,sometimes I even forget how beautiful she is because her brain and intelligence blows my mind. She helped me a lot. Her positive energy is contiguous . This is nothing but jealousy

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    3. Hater!! For you to be here reading this just shows you wish to be in her place. I mean why such hateful words to a human!!! Just read and learn, if you feel it's not for you, then move along. It's that simple. Sonia, pls carry on teaching and helping others.

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    4. Bad belle... Sorry u cant have her man.

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    5. You know, for a reason I don't know, I just felt that the person that made this comment is a guy, so am like, maybe it's all these primitive guys, maybe homosapiens or sth, but if you are a girl, FUCK you mudafucka, you bitch, hoe wearing long skirt but doing different guys! So sorry Sonia Ogbonna for this comment, but she pissed me real bad!

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  10. Everything you've said happened to me. Thank goodness I realized in time
    Thanks for this message sonia

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  11. We go soon read abt it on linda ikeji bcz u are too foolish no african man wud want to be wit a wuman dat talks dis much of nonsense.

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    1. Sighh...looks like mr/mrs anonymous has got not life

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    2. How can you wish bad to someone and expect to live a nice peaceful life? Nothing can ever favor u. U are evil n wicked,whoever u are. Ur life must be very miserable,I would not even like to know how it feels like to be in ur shoes. Btw sonia pls don't mind these idiots. I really enjoy this your blog. U are so cool. Please don't stop

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  12. This post was written for me only! As in ,My life story. That is how i was dating a guy who ended up getting married on top of my head with his actual gf.. Ur post made me feel much better about my situation. Kudos

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  13. U kinda right,i am having such with a woman right now I have done everything to tell her Dat I am not serious with her but she is still hoping Dat one day I we change my mind about how I feel for her....some girls are just so emotional and it cloud their judgement

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    1. Try to avoid her because your breaking is heart every time yo tell her..she is not the one yo want...try to avoid even being friend with her..that will help her ts for is own good though she will hate you..

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  14. U kinda right,i am having such with a woman right now I have done everything to tell her Dat I am not serious with her but she is still hoping Dat one day I we change my mind about how I feel for her....some girls are just so emotional and it cloud their judgement

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  15. Truth be told , hope every woman knows their worth.

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  16. I hav been through a tough relationship and the man only lov me bcz of I'm a business women and he wanted to use me to open other business for him...so he act like he loves me and give me the good sex...but I realize that he is just with bcz of my money...so I broke up wth him thou it hurts me so much bt I have too...thanks Sonia bcz I know my is out somewhere looking for..in GODSgrace I wll meet him one day..I don't loose hope...BLESSED WOMEN.

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  18. Your wisdom turns me on. Sorry If you find this offensive but just an idea that all this was written by a young lady with a doll face,body of a goddess and & phat booty.. Daumm

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  19. My super wife .. Keep up ur good work . I am always here for u baby

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  21. Wow, i love this. I was just discussing this issue with a friend recently. If a guy likes you, you wouldn't have to guess, you will undoubtedly know. Summary if a man loves you, he will move heaven and earth to let you know.
    Sometimes in Life What we Want Doesn't Want Us

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  22. This piece is really talking about me.. I love him to the extent that I caught him cheating and still forgave him.. He doesn't have time to see me but calls me regularly.. Am so confused and lonely..

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