Wednesday, 22 March 2017

Secret Tips: How To Move On & Get Over Person That Is Not Good For You

No matter how strong,reasonable and intelligent you are at times you will feel like a total fool for not being able to let go of someone who clearly isn't good for you.

Emotions are super powerful thing. The most dangerous combination that turns us into senseless,"possessed" sheep is definitely  emotion+ strong sexual chemistry. It makes you forget who you are and what you all about,gives you amnesia for all the standards and criteria you claimed you had,erases sense for pride and dignity and makes us forgive and "swallow" almost everything and anything.
It makes us weak,just like someone put voodoo on you .
You simply can't focus or think of anything/anyone else.

Tension,anxiety,helplessness. Stupid butterflies in belly.
At times when common sense splashes you straight in your face,when you get to put  1+1 together,you can't seem to understand what really happened to you. Is this really you? How could you settle for such a poor treatment by someone who isn't even aware of how precious and worthy you really are.? Someone who turned blind to all your amazing features.

You are tired for not being able to let go of person who clearly doesn't care about you or your well being.
You want a full control over your life,mind and being back!
It's time to let go!

Let's brake the damn spell!

1) FORGIVE YOURSELF
 " How could I let this happen ?"
Anger and serious self blame for "being so stupid " is what we mostly face in such situations.
Then there is shame,especially when you remember all the embarrassing things you "allowed" yourself do and settle for.
How did I guess? lol

This needs to stop it dear.

First step of healing is to accept the fact that this is all just a part of life and growth and that every single person experienced such "madness" at least once in their lifetime.
However, you probably did what you felt like doing at some point of time.It happened for a reason and it surely made you wiser and stronger.
Instead of hating yourself for "stooping so low",be thankful for experience and wisdom you got in return.

2) FORGIVE HIM/HER
In order to heal and move on you must also find a way to forgive the person that you believe is responsible for your heartache.
 "Cheat. Lier." 
"Heartless Fool." 
"He took me for granted."
 "After everything I have done for her."
"He made me look so stupid!"
 "Selfish bastard. "
"He needs to suffer "

I hear you. More importantly,I feel you.

But the bitter truth is : whatever we go through is what we,for whichever reason, allow ,whether subconsciously or consciously,by turning blind to particularly actions and deciding to ignore the fact that people don't always tell us their intentions towards us,but they always SHOW us.

However ,the fact is : not everyone would be capable of seeing and appreciating our worth,but best believe,there is nothing personal about it.
Not everyone can tell the difference between a shiny stone and original diamond.
But that has nothing to do with you.

So here is the deal: find a way to forgive them for not seeing "all that" in you.
And find a way to understand that everyone you cross paths with is there to teach you something very valuable. Don't take that experience for granted.

There is no coincidence in life. Just because he/she turned out not to be the most ideal match for you,that doesn't mean God sent them into your life for no reason. So forgive them anyway because you won't have strength to move on if you keep carrying these strong ,exhausting feelings along with you .


3) ISOLATE YOURSELF
Forgiveness means peace. But that doesn't mean you should poke and scratch your wounds by constantly hearing from person you try to let go of.
In my opinion,you should definitely stop all the social media investigations . Leave the FBI matter.
Stop checking his/hers page regularly. If you consider his/her your weakness and you are afraid that you'll might fall into a temptation of calling or accepting an invite for a new date with the person you are trying to let go of,then go ahead and block their number. Block them on social media.
You need your space to heal. You need time to re-channel your focus and space so "spell" will loose it's effect.
It's ok to blank your "distraction" until you get better and finally move on.

4) BREAK UP WITH AN ILLUSION
It's not in our nature to have positive emotions towards someone who brings us pain. Most of the time it happens that we are not "in love" with actual person but with misinterpreted version of the person we created in our heads. All by ourselves.
We tend to idealize someone we are crazy about to the point we find explanations and justifications for everything wrong and ugly about them.
The best way to let go of someone is to start seeing them for who they truly are.
You need to face true colors of his actions,behavior and attitude  towards you,and to finally acknowledge his lack of efforts and interest.
Every time you start feeling tempted to unblock the contact or call "just one more time" remember the "untouched" picture of the treatment you had to put up with.
Such a turn off! You deserve way better!

5) "AND THEN WHAT?"
So you have a terrible urge to call him. One last time. Send an sms. Insult him. Anything. Just to get
back in touch with the person you try to forget.

Or he called again begging you to come over so you guys can "talk". You feel restless. Maybe one last time. ."What possibly can I loose?"

Nooo!
There is no point honey. Look deep inside of you : it doesn't even feel right!
Temptation is an enemy of progress because it would bring you back to point zero! Then all your efforts would go in vanity. No!
Every time you are in this situation,ask yourself out loud "And then what? What after we see,kiss,have sex? "
Same old,same old huh?
Aren't you tired of walking inside the same old magic circle ?
This powerful question will help you remind yourself of what is pointless and senseless and it will help you fight the temptation.

6) WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Take a pen and paper. I want you to describe your ideal man. Mr Right.
This time without setting for any less.
Write down all his features. He does exist somewhere,you know right?. Best believe,7 billion people on this planet earth,he gotta be somewhere.
Then compare your Mr Right to Mr Wrong you can't seem to get over. Your standards really dropped honey.
Silly you hun?

7) REJECTION IS PROTECTION 
When things don't work  for you it's most likely because it ain't for you!
God doesn't make mistakes . He would make sure He do everything to cut people that are not good for you out of your life. It might hurt you but in future,when you see and meet better and bigger, you will be very grateful to God for pushing misery away from you.

8) FOCUS ON YOU
Idle mind is devil's workshop.
The best way to distract your mind is to invest in yourself.

Don't be lazy,quit with excuses.
Gym,sport,dance classes,learn new skills,find new hobbies,get to know things you have always been passionate about... Self investment oN every possible level (physical,emotional,spiritual) will automatically make you happier,more satisfied and fulfilled.
Self investment is a tool against depression and low self esteem.
It will help you discover your abilities and fall in love with new,updated and upgraded version of yourself.
And more you love yourself ,less you will have time to entertain nonsense.

9)THE BEST IS YET TO COME
This is the fundamental reason and purpose of moving on.
We need to let go of what doesn't feel right so we can be ready to receive what is more then right. It's what makes this life beautiful and worth of living .
Let excitement replace sorrow.
It only gets better.



50 comments:

  1. πŸ‘πŸ½πŸ‘πŸ½πŸ‘πŸ½πŸ‘πŸ½

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    Replies
    1. ever supportive hubby...hw swt

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    2. ik ma crushhhh

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    3. God bless you for this write up sis

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  2. well said maamii...GOD bless

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  3. πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺ

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  4. πŸ‘πŸΎπŸ‘πŸΎπŸ‘πŸΎπŸ˜₯πŸ€—

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  5. Wow Sonia. This just made my day

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  6. have all this but is not working... the mind game is still killing for years... I lost say am a very strong person but this is 1 of my weaknesses

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  7. You hit the nail right on the head ma'am. I'm grateful for this piece... I needed to hear it at this point in time. God has really given you the grace to say the needful at its perfect time. I know a lot a women would find solace after reading this, just like I have found. God bless you Iyawo Ogbonna

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  8. Once again,I feel like you know how to read my mind. Your so young yet so wise.Extraordinary woman

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  9. You save lives since 1976

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  10. Thanks ma. God will bless u richly

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  11. You have no idea how much you mean to me mrs ogbonna. Since I started my addiction with this your blog my life has changed.

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  12. Sonia pls do u have some supernatural powers bcs this is the third time i feel like you are pouring out my very personal something.

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  13. God bless you now and forever

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  14. you could forgive him/her but how to forget what he/ did or still does to you is almost impossible ! it is hard to let go of someone you love even if they hurt you !

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    1. Forgiveness doesn't mean you still have to settle for someone who doesn't do you good. She made a very clear point dear. No one can do you bad unless you personally allow them . I know it's not easy,I have been in your shoes for a long time,but you must put your well being first. Experience is priceless that is why it's silly to regret anything but it's about the time to stop settling for way less than we deserve . We owe that to ourselves . All the best sweetheart

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  15. for the first time after 2 months i feel better. I feel relived. Thank u soso

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  16. A friend of mine shared this blog post with me this morning because she knew what I am passing through. Your write up really makes sense. Seems like you have been through a lot. Wise lady. Keep it up

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  17. Well blogged!!!!

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  18. I love this. Well said

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  19. This woke my soul

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  20. I am a guy and I have been going tru a very messy split up and I must say this also applies on guys . Really helpful and useful write up. I am a big fan tho

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    Replies
    1. it does she was even openly referring to both sex (he/she) which means she did not dedicate this article to women only.

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    2. aww guys can also get heartbroken

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  21. Sounds like you shared this from your personal experience Sonia. Who did you bad ?

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    Replies
    1. AMEBO WATS UR OWN

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    2. mr or mrs anonymous i shd ask u d same question,wats ur own?

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    3. I was just asking must u mind my business ?

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    4. It was your fada that did her bad.nonsense

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  22. anxiously looking forward to ur next post maam

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  23. Your blog is a breath of fresh air

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  24. I have looked for a way to just be fine I saw this on your page on ig this has really made me strong I deserve more!!!thank h so much for this God will bless you this really made me believe in myself yes!!!! I love u

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  25. Hello Sonia... Am really sorry but I just got really attracted to your blog, I have a serious problem.i was in a relationship with a guy, we broke up and he is dating someone else but it's really hard for me to move on...Even as he is with the new girlfriend he still sends me messages On social medias, we started talking and got really intimate even having sex...but the problem is that he loves the both us and does not really know what to do,I feel I should just move on but it's really hard for me because the intimacy brought back the lost feelings, please I really need your help

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