Sunday, 2 April 2017

"TRY ME;I DARE YOU." -REASONS WHY WOMEN SUFFER: Disturbing Double Standards In Our Society-A MUST READ

This really got me feeling all sorts of way...

"I AM A WOMAN!!! -
So what?
I get into an argument with a man, he slaps me, I feel the pain, yet they tell me I provoked him. I should have been quiet, I should have been patient. I should apologize to him.
I get into an argument with a man, I slap him, they tell me I have no respect, no home training. I should have been quiet, I should have been patient. I should apologize to him.
Because I am a woman, I don't have a right to be angry. So, the degree of my innocence is directly proportional to the degree of my silence in the face of oppression and brutality.....
Because I am a woman, my husband cheats on me, I am told to tolerate it to save my marriage. The barbaric and stupid excuse is that ''it is in their nature to cheat, I should slim down, dress better, cook better, pray harder and be more pleasant to him"
I cheat, and I am called a whore, I have committed an abomination, I have no right to look elsewhere for the love and emotional support I lack at home, I am an irresponsible mother.
So I am sent packing, from the home we both built, with all my earthly possessions stuffed into a tiny box on my head. I am henceforth forbidden from seeing my two older children, I'm lucky to be allowed to go with my little one still suckling on my left breast. Three years later, the little one is tagged a bastard. Now, my new name is "after-three", because I am a woman.
He is 28 and runs a company. He's tagged wonderful, hardworking, focused, career oriented, successful at a very young age.
I am 28 and I run a company " Hmmmm, she is not even married, unserious, can not order her priorities right, a hustler, loves money, let her go and get a husband oh"
And I wonder if being successful has anything to do with a person's gender.
Because I am a woman,
I am not allowed to have wits or be a prodigy, I cannot be financially buoyant, professionally successful or be treated with respect without a man beside me.
Then I am tagged a generous leg opener, "a runs girl". They never see the possibility that I actually had to go through ups and downs to get to where I am.
Because I am a woman.
A man looses his wife to death and remarries a year after, he did the right thing, he's being praised and congratulated for moving on, after all life is for the living.
A woman looses her husband to death and remarries after 4yrs, "ahhh! so early? Are u sure she wasn't sleeping with that man even when her husband was alive? That was why she killed her husband. She's a witch! " Because she's a woman.
Because I am a woman, this post will be considered controversial, and everyone will try to correct me.
But don't forget, that I am a woman and it does not make me less human."

COULD I SAY IT ANY BETTER?
Honestly,I understand if there are some men out there justifying this double standards because the change is certainly not  in their favor ...
But the way it makes me angry when I hear my fellow women making peace with it in the name of "tradition" or what so ever.. You can't understand.
You normalize nonsense and STILL teach your daughters to be submissive because such is a "cruel woman's fate"?

No it is not.

I say so! Watch me!

You are not meant to suffer in silence while breaking your neck to be "that woman" so they won't say you are not being "good enough ".That is not a woman's destiny.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think that women and men should "compete" in any way. Or that treating your man well is a bad thing. Nooo. I just think it should be mutual.
I don't believe we should normalize a woman's misery.

You are meant to be loved,appreciated and respected.
You deserve that.



Thoughts guys?


46 comments:

  1. Diz made me so angry i swr down

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  2. Women should learn how to support one another when it comes to dis things .

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  3. Str8 to d target sis

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  4. Tnx for sharing this we need it. We need more women like u.

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  5. A man looses his wife to death and remarries a year after,

    ON YEAR IS TOO MUCH!!!! HE REMARRIES AFTER THREE MONTHS!!!!
    Sometimes the side-woman helps with the burial arrangements.

    AND YES THE MAN'S FAMILY KNOWS!!!!

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  6. I love you ma

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  7. This is just the reality of what women are facing in Nigeria and most annoying thing is that its seen as normal. We need to stop this discrimination against women. let the truth be said women are the worst enermy to their fellow woman.They should learn to support themselves ... (IG : @lucasjayvision)

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    1. Nigeria yes,but not only Nigeria,all over Africa and other developing parts of the world where no one teaches young girls their worth in the name of tradition

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    2. Real talk...

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  8. The most disturbing fact is that its us,women,that promote and practice such terrible beliefs and discrimination against our own kind every time we open our mouths to judge other ladies

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  10. Again you could not have said it better. Tell them,preach on. Women should stop covering up with traditions and culture. It is not ur job only to save ur marriage

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  11. You are God sent to African women. A true sisters keeper and a correct lady,intelligent and well spoken. God bless you

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  12. U r a big tym fool stop foolin dis our women wit ur nonsense wat u brag abt its a work of devil.As a correct naija woman dat i am n dat ull never be due ur immoral disrespectful n shameless dressing behavior and beliefs i need to tell u to stop misleading our women or else god wil punish u I will pray n ask god personaly to punish u stupid prostitute . Woman needs to learn how to please n take care of her husband n learn how to mind her own business so she won't stress him,keep his belly full n her home clean n dats a gud woman dat I repeat ull neva b bcs u r a lazy prostiture dat only cares abt tight dresses shoes n makeup. I hate everything abt u pls go wereva u came from ugly senseless ting

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    1. Tf ?! You need help yo!

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    2. You are miserable. This lady helped so many women including myself. She is real and values she promotes are CORRECT! You are so evil and sick.

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    3. Darling do not mind fools,keep motivating us. Much love xx

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    4. Omg why so bitter? First you pray for someones bad fate,then you call yourself a "CORRECT NAIJA WOMAN" And THEN, you preach about morals? WOW!

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    5. It's upsetting that we still have women like dis in 21st century. Gosh

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    6. You are a saddest and a bingo..you are too local. Low mentality. Bitch..

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    7. SHAME ON YOU! BITTER SOUL! You expect God to aid you in wishing misery upon someone! Sorry hunnay He DOESN'T work that way! Take SEVERAL seats and leave Sonia to flourish!

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    8. Sorry o, aunty. Beht why you angry? Do you know her personally or just the side of her that you see on social media. I don't know her. Never met her. And I'm most definitely not taking sides with her but I really can't stand your kind of personality. There are simple things you should realise
      1. She is not Nigerian. But from what I can see, she tries her damndest to adapt. And trust me, it can't be the easiest thing in the world to adapt to Nigerian mentality what with all the holier than thou people we have here... Like yasef.
      2. She is comfortable in her body. This is not a crime. Be honest with yourself, if you had a bod like that, we probably wouldn't hear word. I know it's the truth for me sha, no lies. From your little tantrum, it's so obvious you're bitter and unhappy. How do you specially ask God to punish someone though? You better respect the good Lord and leave Him out of your petty endeavors.
      3. And most important. MIND YA OWN BUSINESS.
      That's all, have a nice day.
      P.S: Yeah, I'm pettier than you are. Deal with it.

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    9. Gosh ! Are u kidding me?see how u read this beautiful piece and allowed hate becloud ur reasoning.what she said is absolutely the truth about what's happening in our society today.am ��% sure anouymous 10:53 is a guy.anyways if u are not a guy but a lady I pity u.u are fucked.is obvious u are blinded by the truth.no body gain points at being overly insulting and insensitive.is obvious u are sooooo full of hatred and also eyeing �� Sonia's husband.madam Sonia u better hold that cute bobo well cos people like this can kill to be in ur shoes.c'mon park well bad anonymous.

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    11. Chisos! So much hate!!

      I'm so sure this anonymous poster is a woman. Women be pulling other women down since 19gbogboro. So you call a sista a prostitute? Welldone. Aren't you also a prostitute? You want to pray specially for God to punish a human being? Pray tell, what god are you praying to?


      Dear Anonymous poster, you need help!

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  13. some people sef .I m just here shaking ma head

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  14. Kelly The Urbanist11 April 2017 at 11:55

    Wooooowwwww

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  15. Thanks for sharing this!!! I totally agree!!!!

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  16. As Women that we are,we should learn how to support one another. It's not men to blame for everything we go tru,but ourselves for spreading mentality of ignorance among each other. I love your blog Mrs Ogbonna,love from Kampala,Uganda

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  17. So true.This right here earned you a new follower,am so glued here.

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  18. My love and respect for women of self value will forever grow,
    Madam before you insult your fellow woman so much over her opinion on a public or general topic which the society needs to address, first ask yourself if your response is of any value and if it holds water because, it is really bad that instead of you to try crack your brain and shine more light on the topic you decided to follow "short cut" and insult Sonia for her brains and wisdom. All these things she pointed out is not directly for herself alone but for you and I and our daughters, sisters and future mothers and wives....
    always work on bringing intelligence and Class to the table as a woman don't settle for less by being stupid and etc.
    Sonia Darling my eyes are on you
    You got brains up there sis
    Don't let the weak ones pull you down

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    1. You made so much sense dear.

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  19. Those that are in support of sonia&her blog,those that pray for her,those that fight for her and those that are for her are far too many than those who are against her!Haters commenting here should have realized by now that Sonia got huge and unwavering mad love from her blog followers!!!
    Cheers������

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  20. #IamaGuy #Notafeminist I have always said that this gender equality issue is just like the game of chess. The king makes just one step to any direction while the queen can make any number of steps to any direction, what a man can do, a woman can do even better. But mind you, the queen is taken down and it is not game over but the king goes down? game over. #IRespecttheWoman #RespectForTheWoman. Nice piece ma'am.

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    1. Its a pleasure to see a man commenting on this matter in such manner and very sad that we as women can't get the same support from some fellow ladies . God is our strength

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    2. Exactly!

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    3. Wow this is coming from a man . I salute u brotha u will mk a good husband to ur wife

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  21. You pointed at something very important Sonia bless u

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  22. I am addicted to ur blog

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